ICYMI, Part III

I've been holding my left hand hostage for weeks now, gagged and bound, no mode of expression and it has finally escaped...

I was telling myself these kinds of things with the white noise of surrounding fan units and the uneasiness of watching another film adaptation from Lord of the Flies, a book I first read in high school and perhaps a 2nd time while incarcerated some years ago; I felt a sick, cheap feeling, covered in existential crisis onset from an early age, having the pink moon pass me by like pig blood in a red forest.

Of course I slept with Renata; after knowing each other less than an hour, I'd noticed the gnats that had somehow surpassed the screen of my open window in the kitchen. I was later roasted by a red mini Lambo standing on Colfax & Wash. Ave. The smell of piss was familiar at first but undeniable at best. It was Saturday and I was anxious/not thinking straight, listening to the same 10 tracks from Drake's new albums and waiting on the bus to do community service. Just because I can text without looking at the key strokes doesn't mean my words are legible. It doesn't mean I'm not watching for some dumb ass tryna roll up on me and check my pockets while fantasizing about the last time I linked up with pussy, either.

I have delusions of grandeur, sure. Admittedly. I walk this earth in a self-contained, fragile and misunderstood bubble much like the rest of modern society. I've come to terms with all that, ya' know? And I like to think that when Drake is up, I'm up. I like to think if we met, we'd be on a level as artists, ya know? Delusions. Sure. But it could happen. I've found myself sharing a room with "celebrities", people I'd never have expected to meet, timing, right place, right camera angle, whatever.

There are people I'd never thought I'd meet and I'm positive there are some that say they are blessed/cursed to have met me.

One person on either side of that coincidence could be Gabriel Ricard, a former editor/published author and current film critic at 'Make the Case':

FM: Naturally, knowing your level of talent and comedic nature, I want to start by throwing shade your way and bragging that I had the pleasure of meeting Joe Bob Briggs and Darla on 5/16/26, as he was hosting a Russ Meyer film retrospective at SIE Film Center, where I do my community service. But then I remembered, maybe falsely, that you interviewed him or met him before me?

Gabriel Ricard: "I met him twice but that's awesome. There was a time he came to Long Island for a lecture, and it was the literal day COVID exploded, so I didn't go to the meet and greet. That's so cool that you met him, too! He's such a big guy, too."

FM: I didn't recognize him at first and then I looked at what was causing such a huge line and saw his name and he's standing 5 ft. from me in a hot pink smoking jacket with these matching rhinestone platform shoes that made him look 7'1 instead of 6'11 or whatever...

GR: "He has quite a wardrobe. They both do lol."

Are you a Paul Heyman or Don Callis guy?

GR: "I do like Paul. I'm drawing a blank on Don Callis but the name is familiar. Do you watch 'Wrestling Bios' on YouTube? Absolutely essential viewing if you like wrestling. He just finished going through the entire Monday Night War from start to finish. His videos on 'Thunder in Paradise' are also very, very, very, very funny."

FM: Now I'm invested. My dad and I watched 'Thunder in Paradise' every week alongside 'WCW Nitro'. The Monday Night Wars encompass a great deal of my childhood and may explain several social infractions I've made over the years.

I honestly need to consider why it's so important for me to communicate with other people in better fashion as I get older. I'm relatively a hermit. You're extremely personable and have gathered a significant following with your revamped film column 'Make the Case'. Your views on cinema are astute and stapled with witticism and controversial takes.

Navigating the new paradigms of interacting with readers/viewers etc., how do you maintain your ambition with this project?

GR: "I forgot John Steed himself was on Thunder. I felt a little bad for him.

"Goodness, thank you for such genuinely moving words. What do I say to that 😆? I'm not nearly that smart.

"I guess I would say the ambition is easy to maintain because it sustains itself on my fundamental enthusiasm to talk about movies or anything else in media that interests me. I'm not very social anymore, but I still want to talk about movies with people who are interested."