"In the Kingdom of Dragons" and "Last Line in the Aisle"
In the Kingdom of Dragons
In the Kingdom of Dragons, only half the families drive hybrids. Despite our outreach efforts, it’s been hard to overcome dragons’ attachment to their coal-fired SUVs. For some reason, that’s the only mode of transportation they trust to bring the sheep and cattle home for dinner.
“Sure,” they’ll say, “if we’re just picking up a dozen chickens, we can fly or use an electric car. But we just don’t think the electric vehicles have the range yet. And who wants to stop for a charge when the farmers are chasing you with pitchforks and torches?”
“We’ve heard they explode,” they’ll say. “We can’t have that thing around our eggs, and we don’t need our piles of gold melting down, thank you very much.”
Our next campaign to combat these reservations about adopting electric vehicles will focus on their utility for spiriting away princesses. Princesses have been shown to be 80% more amenable to kidnapping when they know they’ll be taken away in an electric vehicle. Generational perceptions are shifting, and we can use this to our advantage to sway dragons who are still looking to remain relevant in the princess-and-tower business. The demographics will be our knight in shining armor.
Last Line in the Aisle
What pulses back there in the gloom, atop the shelf at the rear of the store, silhouetted against the “Emergency Exit” sign? What dark matter obstructs the light, creating an electric red halo around a bulging doom?
There is no category for this abject object, no single word could contain it, much less “cereal” or “toothpaste” or “juice.” This is nothing you could eat. It is far more likely that this thing could eat you.
How would you describe the movement of that object at the end of the aisle? What manner of smoke flows down from its perch? What manner of stench overwhelms you?
Which coupon applies? How many points will you get for purchasing it? What manner of discount would convince you to take it home?
Make me an offer. Find out what flies.
Tara Campbell is a writer, teacher, Kimbilio Fellow, and fiction co-editor at Barrelhouse Magazine. She teaches flash fiction and speculative fiction, and is the author of a novel, two hybrid collections of poetry and prose (one with Unlikely Books), and two short story collections. Her sixth book, City of Dancing Gargoyles, is forthcoming from Santa Fe Writers Project (SFWP) in September 2024. Find out more at www.taracampbell.com.
